Thursday, November 18, 2010

33 Weeks

Sooo...Haven't updated in a while. Oops!
Alot has been going on...just getting ready for baby and dealing with the constant body pain as well.
Don't know if I mentioned it or not, but I officially moved back to my hometown on Oct. 19th and I've just been getting everything straight and settled since then.
While my medicaid is still being processed, I'm receiving free prenatal care from my city's health department and I'm even cleared to deliver at the hospital I wanted. So that's great.
I'm at a whopping weight gain of 28 POUNDS! I don't know how that happened...but it happened. So now...for the next 7 weeks....I'm trying to not gain anymore weight...but I know that's not going to happen lol. I'm confused because I have no idea where this weight is going. I'm still skinny minny..and it's not like my belly is reeeeeally huge. Actually wait. I think it's all boobs and belly. My boobs are monstrous.
My friend who had the same due date as me delivered her baby 2 days ago! A whole  7.5 weeks early...but she's perfectly a perfectly healthy 3lb preemie. She just really wanted out lol. She went into labor around 10pm Monday night....and labored by herself at home until tuesday morning. Went to the hospital around 9:30 Tuesday morning and baby Destiny was here a hour later. CRAZY! She went totally natural AND labored the whole way in her home. That's something I wouldn't be able to do....I need drugs honey. But she said you never know until it we'll see.

Thanks to Craigslist and a very giving lady, I was able to find someone who was giving away ALOT of baby items. I received 2 full trash bags of baby clothes ranging from newborn all the way to 18 months. She gave me a bouncer, 2 swings, a high chair, one of the floor play mats thingys, and a VERY brand new carseat. Compared to me only having a crib...I went from 0 to 60 very fast. Now I'm not nervous anymore. I have alot of clothes to start me off as he grows, I don't need any furniture....I"m blessed. I took belly pictures last week for my 32nd week..but I want to take some fresh new ones under the sunlight. So I'll post those tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The In-Laws

So...there are a few things that have been bothering me lately.

I'm very familiar with baby's father's family. They know me, they know who I am. I attended a party 2 weekends ago for his grandmother's birthday. (He was there...but I didn't even know it until later. After all...I wasn't there for him anyway). As soon as I walk in of course they notice my belly...and instead of getting properly welcomed...I get introduced by his mother as "we don't know if it's his yet...but yup she's pregnant!". That statement...just put a damper on my whole evening. I didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to socialize. I just wanted to turn back around and go home.

Honestly....I know they want me to do a DNA test. WHATEVER. I can't wait to prove you wrong. But...that should be between me and him. Not the whole damn mothafukin world. And being that he doesn't even deny my son....I don't feel like it was proper etiquette for her to flaunt my "bastard" child like that. The fact that my son and my pregnancy is not being embraced like it was for his sister's's disheartening and unmotivational. It's like "Hey she's a ho and we're playing russian roulette with this one."

Trust me...if I had a choice of who the father would would NOT be him. So this whole...she's just claiming the baby's his, or this whole she's trying to trap him attitude....Needs to be changed. ASAP. I'm already at the point where I just want to cut ties with them. Do my court thing. And go that route. I don't want his mother anywhere near the hospital...cuz all I'm going to get is fakeness...and I don't want to deal with it. She can visit, like everyone else, a few days AFTER we come home.

I doubt if he's even going to be in the emergency room. I'm nowhere near his priority and I'm constantly on low simmer on the back burner. Part of the reason for me moving back to Virginia is so that my child could be closer to his father and his family. But honestly, I feel like he's going to get the same treatment here in Virginia that he would have gotten if he lived in New York. I have only spent one day with BD. But yet he claims that "I'm always trying to be around him". Um what? No. He's actively only seen me once. Any other time that we have seen each was not due to him. It was because I was invited around for other occassions that he had no dealings with. All the times we were supposed to spend time with each other...he either chose his friends over me or just stood me up all together. So that BS about we spend too much time together and I need to relax and not get mad when he doesn't come by....OVER IT. He's obviously living in some fantasy world with a twin of mine or something.

Baby's father also let it slip last night when we were having a "heated discussion", that his mother doesn't want me in their house "that much". Really? Like seriously...really? First of all...I have never asked to spend the night..every time I have went to visit...I go with the intentions of coming back home. I've stayed a total of two nights. One night because he told me to on my birthday. And one night because my friend asked if I wanted to stay..and I was tired anyway.  You let some sneaky, conniving bitch in the house everyday...but I can't even come visit? L.O.L.

I'm seriously at my breaking point.